I recently got into weird things with some people, and now I'm worried
my reputation is ruined and that I will be forced to lose all my
friends. I'm hella shy, and all my friends are really important to me
because I don't meet people easily. I met a group of people at a UGA
club, and they all seemed badass. Most of them were dudes, but my BFF
became friends with them, too, so that was chill.

When we first met them I liked one guy, (A), and made it very obvious, but he was already dating someone else, and the more she tried to get to know me, I started to consider the others in the group romantically. We hung out at their
apartment, where A and B live all the time (they are older, I still live
on campus), and eventually I started sort of dating one of them, (B), and then
at the same time I started sort of dating a different one, (C). B and C
ended up losing their friendship, which I feel bad about, but really
wasn't my fault. I just wasn't sure which one I wanted, and I still think
it was fine to try them out at the same time. 

One night, A's GF was DD for me, A and my BFF. Apparently, I made out with everyone, tried to have sex with her and with A, and said some pretty bad things, but I don't remember them at all, and since I was blacked out, I don't feel like it matters. People say stupid shit when they're drunk; that's how it
goes. A's GF told me and my BFF to give them space, so I stopped talking
to her, but A was my friend, and with B and C ignoring me, I thought he
might be the one to try for. I didn't want to get in his face since I
thought it would make it back to the crazy GF, but I figured no one could
fault me for trying. I texted him stories and stuff, in a very friendly
way, and he responded very, very well, because I just wanted to stay on
his mind and not disappear from the group.

I was at the apartment doing, umm, hemp-like things with B (we are friends again), and A came in. I was out of it and didn't know what I was saying at all, but I guess I said something about A's GF's brother. A told his GF, and she told her brother, and her brother texted me something really fucked up and threatening. It really upset me. I couldn't believe A had gossiped about me like that. I cried at work and stayed in my dorm until A and B came to comfort me. I thought everything was fine since they got me alcohol (not for me alone but for a party I was going to—I'm not an alcoholic) but A ended up getting really upset that night and the next day (I'm guessing cause his GF was pressuring him), and eventually I just told him I didn't want to factor into their relationship and that I wouldn't be friends with him anymore. I feel like I should've held my ground more, and told him
to choose between his friend group and his crazy sensitive GF. (She's
going to grad school and moving, so they'll probably end up breaking up
anyway.)

I feel like, because of all of A's gossip, no one considers me a serious friend, and the chances that I'll get to date one of them soon is low. I think, in a few months with his GF gone, A will be much better. I think that we could start hanging  out again like we used to, and maybe I could even re-start the friendly flirting that took place before. I think his GF just takes herself way too seriously, and once she is out of the picture everything will be fine. With her gone, I know he'll be more interested in me sexually, too. I don't know, I feel like her reactions to all these situations have been way too exaggerated, and that this is the kind of stuff that happens in college, and it's just part of life experience.

I don't think anyone trusts me right now, but I don't want to be ruled out of dating B (we've become friends again) this summer because of her getting crazy and freaking out. How can I make sure that they trust me again and that A stops gossiping about me? This group of people is badass, and I've even referred to us as a clique in the past! I want everything to go back to how it was! Smoking, drinking and gaming at the apartment like every night!
P.S. My BFF did make a fucked up comment once, kinda like "What did you expect?" cause I was trying to date friends, blah, blah etc. I'm young, I just got to college and I'm not going to let anyone's puritan bullshit stop me from having fun. Should I try to get her into one of the guys so that she sees it more clearly?


Hella Shy

You’re about as shy as you are smart, HS. I’ve been trying to decide if this letter is even real because it is so ridiculous. To start off by saying how important your friends are to you and then go on to describe how you treated each one of them badly. You’re a self-centered little shit, HS, and I think you’ve pretty much worn out your welcome with this particular group of “friends,” so you should probably just move on. Stop using drugs and alcohol as an excuse for being an asshat. In fact, you should probably just stop using drugs and alcohol altogether, since you clearly have no self-control. Blacking out and sleeping with and/or generally being crappy to people who are supposed to be your friends isn’t “just part of life experience.” It’s just part of being a sucky human being. Knock it off.