COLORBEARER OF ATHENS, GEORGIA LOCALLY OWNED SINCE 1987
August 15, 2012

Movie Dope

Short Descriptions of Movies Playing In And Around Athens...

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN (PG-13) Were The Amazing Spider-Man the first Spider-Man movie, critics and fans would hail it as spectacular. Following Sam Raimi’s surprisingly poorly aged films, this fourth film is the unfortunate epitome of unnecessary. Where Christopher Nolan did us an outstanding service reinterpreting the world of The Dark Knight, (500) Days of Summer’s Marc Webb and his trio of scripters rely on lazy, convenient plotting to rehash Spidey’s origins with a few mysterious cosmetic changes. No longer a simple orphan, Peter Parker’s parents abandoned him as a result of papa Parker’s top secret genetic experiments, which produce the (no longer radioactive) spider that turns Pete into a superhero and Dr. Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans) into the film’s villainous Lizard. Ten years ago, mass audiences accepted the idea of a teenaged crime fighter with the powers of an arachnid. Too bad these filmmakers didn’t just jump straight into the web-head’s world. Their super-blockbuster excels once it gets the mythology revising out of the way and allows new Spidey Andrew Garfield, who nails the wall-crawler’s smart-alecky, costumed persona, to use those powers to patrol the streets of NYC as your friendly neighborhood web-slinger.

THE ARTIST (PG-13) Films today do not come as precious or charming as Michel Hazanavicius’ Golden Globe and Oscar winner. A silent film that is all about talking, The Artist of title refers to matinee idol George Valentin (Golden Globe winner Jean Dujardin, who absolutely must be a silent film star Hazanivicius thawed from ice), who finds it difficult to transition from silent films to talkies, unlike rising star Peppy Miller (Golden Globe nominee Berenice Bejo). Who knew a trifling eccentricity would wind up 2011’s most daring film?

BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD (PG-13) The must-see movie of 2012 comes to Athens thanks to those wonderful people at Ciné. In an isolated bayou community called “the Bathtub,” a young girl named Hushpuppy (newcomer Quvenzhané Wallis) struggles to save her ailing father (Dwight Henry, another newcomer) and find her missing mother after changing weather unleashes prehistoric creatures called aurochs. Benh Zeitlan’s feature debut won four awards at Cannes and two at Sundance, including the Grand Jury Prize. Many more, possibly an Oscar or two, are sure to come.

THE BOURNE LEGACY (PG-13) The Bourne franchise continues without Matt Damon or director Paul Greengrass. Jeremy Renner replaces Damon as Robert Ludlum’s amnesiac spy, while longtime series scripter Tony Gilroy, who hit it big with his directorial debut, Michael Clayton, takes over directing duties. I can live with both of those replacements. Between this flick, The Avengers and his recent Mission: Impossible IV gig (he is also rumored to be replacing Tom Cruise in a fifth installment), Renner is poised for superstardom. With Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton and Joan Allen.

BRAVE (PG) A good, not great, Pixar film, Brave strays into traditional Disney territory after a tremendously magical first act. Headstrong Scottish Princess Merida (wonderfully voiced by the lovely Kelly Macdonald) wants to choose her own destiny. She does not want to marry the first-born of one of the clans allied with her father, the Bear King, Fergus (v. Billy Connolly), but her mother, Queen Elinor (v. Emma Thompson), will hear none of her complaints. In typical stubborn teenage fashion, Merida short-sightedly asks a wood-carving witch (v. Julie Walters) for a spell to change her mother. The aftermath of the spell leads to some heartwarming and charming derring-do, but the sitcom-ish mix-up is a bit stock for what we’ve come to expect from the studio that gave us Wall-E and Up, two animated features that transcended their cartoonish origins. Still, Brave is leaps and bounds more impressive than Cars 2 and would have fit nicely in the Disney Renaissance of the 1990s.

THE CAMPAIGN (R) Two South Carolina politicians (Will Ferrell and Zack Galifianakis) duke it out while nursing their presidential aspirations. The comic prospects of a Ferrell v. Galifianakis faceoff are limitless. Let’s hope Austin Powers/Meet the Parents director Jay Roach can make the most of these two comics’ prodigious strengths. A script from The Other Guys’ Chris Henchy and “Eastbound and Down”’s Shawn Harwell should help. With Jason Sudeikis, Brian Cox, Dylan McDermott, John Lithgow and Dan Ackroyd.

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES (PG-13) Fanboy expectations of all-time greatness aside, The Dark Knight Rises concludes filmmaker Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy as satisfyingly as one can hope. Having taken the fall for the murder of Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight, Batman is no longer welcome in Gotham City, which is all right with shut-in Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale), the eccentric billionaire who continues to mourn the death of his love, Rachel. (Interestingly, The Joker is never mentioned.) But a new evil, the muscle-and-respirator-clad Bane (Tom Hardy, finally doing the great Bat-breaker justice), has risen, requiring Batman to return to action. Meanwhile, a pretty cat burglar named Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway, making audiences forget both Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry) has targeted Gotham’s elite. Nolan delivers the dense blockbuster we expect after TDK and Inception. He plays a masterful game of cinematic chess, knowing how to perfectly place every component—script, actors, action set pieces—on the board. A brilliant blockbuster, TDKR cannot best its immediate predecessor; the three-quel lacks the Ledger zeitgeist and shockingly needs more Batman. Still, The Dark Knight Rises darkly comic-bookends the movie summer that blissfully began with Joss Whedon’s candy coated Avengers. I’m sad Nolan’s time in Gotham is over.

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: DOG DAYS (PG) The formula still entertains but has grown increasingly worn in the third movie in the unlikely Wimpy Kid franchise, based on the bestselling books by Jeff Kinney. As the school year gives way to summer, Greg Heffley (Zachary Gordon) again proves a poor son—though not as bad as older bro, Rodrick (Devon Bostick)—and an even poorer friend to the series’ best character, Rowley (Robert Capron), who invites Greg on daily trips to the country club and his family’s big vacation. The movie, as a whole, is not as good as its predecessors. After three movies (covering four books), Greg should have learned at least a rudimentary lesson about lying (a fake summer job?), and the humor, gags and performances remain as broad as ever. (However, any vehicle that delivers Steve Zahn on a regular basis starts with a leg up.) Nevertheless, Greg’s adventures are infinitely more appealing than the average, uninspired kiddie movie.

THE EXPENDABLES 2 (R) After a successful, violent debut, the Expendables are reunited by Mr. Church (Bruce Willis, whose cameo has been expanded to a starring role in the sequel) for an easy job that turns sour after one of their own is killed. Sylvester Stallone still stars but has passed the directing chair to Simon West (the passable action crafter of Con Air, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, The Mechanic and more). Almost everyone returns (Mickey Rourke does not) to welcome Ah-nuld back to the action movie fold. JCVD shows up as a potential villain. Fortunately, the movie did not receive the PG-13 rating allegedly sought by new Expendable Chuck Norris.

GENTLEMAN’S AGREEMENT (NR) 1947. This Best Picture winner pits Gregory Peck, in a role for which he was nominated for his third Academy Award, against anti-Semitism as a reporter who experiences bigotry and hatred while posing as a Jew for a story. The film also won Elia Kazan a Best Director trophy and Celeste Holm a Best Supporting Actress prize. This special screening is sponsored by the Athens Jewish Film Festival and features light snacks from The National and a post-film discussion led by Ciné’s Gabriel Wardell.

• HOPE SPRINGS (PG-13) If older people talking about and having sex makes you uncomfortable, skip Hope Springs. But if you want a mature, intimate romantic dramedy about an ailing, aging marriage, warmly and realistically portrayed by two consummate professionals, you will find no other film this summer that comes close to Hope Springs. Kay (Meryl Streep) and her husband, Arnold (master griper Tommy Lee Jones), have what appears to be a loving marriage, yet the heat has been lost. They sleep in separate bedrooms; he barely looks at her, much less touches her. Kay wants a change, and she believes she’s found the means in Dr. Bernard Feld’s (a lightly used Steve Carell, who knows how to pick a project) intensive couples counseling. Naturally, Arnold wants nothing to do with Kay’s plan but reluctantly agrees to keep her happy. The film progresses with few narrative surprises but a lot of tonal ones. The trailer implies a broader, less deftly handled, older sex comedy. Streep and Jones will have none of that, providing the less dignified moments with some emotional heft and landing the lightweight dramatic punches with the grace everyone expects from these two greats.

THE HUNGER GAMES (PG-13) While a successful adaptation of a difficult book that near everyone has read, The Hunger Games has little cinematic spark. It’s a visual book report that merely summarizes the plot. It’s well-written, but still a book report. Seabiscuit director Gary Ross was not the most obvious choice to direct this dystopian adventure in which 24 teenagers are randomly selected for a contest in which only one will survive.

ICE AGE: CONTINENTAL DRIFT (PG) Manny (v. Ray Romano), Diego (v. Denis Leary) and Sid (v. John Leguizamo) return in a fourth adventure, which is good news for the millions not waiting for this fatigued franchise to go extinct. The trio get separated from the herd, which includes Manny’s wife, Ellie (v. Queen Latifah), and daughter, Peaches (v. Keke Palmer), and meet a pirate crew led by Captain Gutt (exceptionally voiced by “Games of Thrones” Emmy winner Peter Dinklage). Nothing unpredictable happens (Sid messes things up, no one cares), and the suspense is even less harrowing than your typical television cartoon. The rest of the celebrity voices are a mixed bag as well. Wanda Sykes brings the funny as Sid’s toothless granny, but Drake and Nicki Minaj are non-starters. Aziz Ansari is wasted and J-Lo is present. This kiddie flick is only for children that don’t want to watch Brave or Madagascar 3 again.

THE INTOUCHABLES (R) 2011. The extremely popular French film is based on the book "You Changed My Life" by Abdel Sellou. A wealthy, wheelchair-bound man hires a man from the slums to be his caretaker, eventually forming a lifelong bond between the two men as they share their cultures and viewpoints.

KATY PERRY: PART OF ME (PG) Infectious and informative, the concert video promoting Katy Perry’s brand succeeds far better than it should. The concert sequences engage as if the audience is watching from the front row, and the backstage interviews/behind the scenes footage portrays Perry as a sweet, strange young lady from the quirky, cute vein concurrently being mined by Zooey Deschanel. The disconnect between Perry’s decidedly adult lyrics (just wait for the Tokyo performance of “Peacock”) and her little girl-filled Katy Cat army can disconcert, but the queen of adult Candyland proves harder to hate and more talented than many of her radio-dominating, pop music peers. I also would never have learned that “Raising Hope”’s Sabrina, Shannon Woodward, was a close friend of Perry had I not seen this musical diversion. Katy Perry: Part of Me won’t convince the hard-hearted, but anyone who didn’t curse themselves for mindlessly singing along to one of her many, catchy hits should enjoy themselves.

MEN IN BLACK III (PG-13) Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones reprise their roles as Agent J and Agent K. Apparently, Smith’s J time travels back to 1969 to stop an alien from assassinating his partner, whose younger version is played by Josh Brolin. Director Barry Sonnenfeld returns and could really use a hit. With Alice Eve, Jemaine Clement, Emma Thompson and Bill Hader as Andy Warhol.

MONTY PYTHON’S THE LIFE OF BRIAN (R) 1979. Ciné concludes its Summer Comedy Classics Movie Series with the Monty Python religio-comic classic. Born on the original Christmas in the stable next to Jesus, Brian (Graham Chapman) spends a lifetime being mistaken for the messiah. The third feature from the Pythons—Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Michael Palin—is one of their strongest, a religious satire that, according to a tagline, seeks “to offend nearly two thirds of the civilized world. And severely annoy the other third.”

MOONRISE KINGDOM (PG-13) Wes Anderson provides summer 2012 with its charmer, a twee coming of age tale about Sam and Suzy (wonderful newcomers Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward), two tweens that learn about love after running away from their tiny island home. Any moviegoers not already enchanted by Anderson’s previous whimsies will not be won over by his newest, extremely eccentric romance. Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Bruce Willis, Frances McDormand and Harvey Keitel are among the adults that inhabit Anderson’s isolated, stagy island. Murray is quixotic as ever and Norton is a perfect fit. Willis takes time to adjust to Anderson’s timezone, but the consummate pro rarely gets the credit he deserves (he’s leagues ahead of his former Planet Hollywood cronies). The straight-on tracking shots reinforce the film’s confining staginess (it might make a terrific source for a future high school drama), as does the sometimes unprofessional acting of the film’s many young performers. I don’t recall enjoying a live action Anderson fancy as much since 2001’s The Royal Tenenbaums. 2012’s best movies, a list exclusively made up of Joss Whedon progeny, Cabin in the Woods and The Avengers, has now been expanded by one.

NITRO CIRCUS (PG-13) One lady and several bros with a lot of gumption film themselves performing extreme sports stunts, like Jackass with real injuries and without the sadistic friends. Nitro Circus has been featured as a reality TV show with stunts including BMX challenges and base-jumping

THE ODD LIFE OF TIMOTHY GREEN (PG) What a quirky sounding picture! A childless couple (Jennifer Garner and Warrior’s Joel Edgerton) bury a box with all their wishes for a child. Soon, they’re welcoming a strange child named Timothy Green. Writer-director Peter Hedges has a nice filmography (he wrote and directed Dan in Real Life and wrote About a Boy and What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?), while the story comes from a surprising person, Ahmet Zappa. With Common, Ron Livingston, Rosemarie DeWitt, Dianne Wiest and the always great M. Emmet Walsh.

PARANORMAN (PG) A strange boy named Norman (v. Kodi Smit-McPhee, The Road and Let Me In) who can talk to the dead must use his ability to defeat zombies, ghosts and adults in order to save his town from a curse. The voice cast (including Anna Kendrick, Leslie Mann, John Goodman, Casey Affleck, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Jeff Garlin and Tempestt “Vanessa Huxtable” Bledsoe) is nice and quirky. Codirector and writer Chris Butler knows creepy animation, having worked on Corpse Bride and Coraline.

THE ROOM (R) 2003. Tommy Wiseau returns to Ciné once again as the unpredictable, inexplicable Johnny in this cult classic. Part of Bad Movie Night.

SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN (PG-13) 2012’s second Snow White movie (she was also a television star on ABC’s “Once Upon a Time”) tweaks the fairy tale with the pale beauty (Kristen Stewart, Twilight) and the huntsman (Chris Hemsworth, Thor), sent by Charlize Theron’s Evil Queen to kill her, instead teaming up to overthrow her majesty. Director Rupert Sanders is an unknown entity; thankfully, the cast includes the familiar faces of Toby Jones, Ian McShane, Ray Winstone, Nick Frost and Bob Hoskins. Written by Drive’s Hossein Amini.

SPARKLE (PG-13) This mid-70s, Irene Cara musical, inspired by the Supremes, gets a makeover in the late Whitney Houston’s return to the big screen. Sparkle’s song and dance—three sisters form a singing group and must deal with fame and drugs—sounds a little Dreamgirls. “American Idol” Season 6 champion Jordin Sparks makes her feature acting debut. Sparkle is director Salim Akil’s follow-up to Jumping the Broom. With Carmen Ojogo (Away We Go), Derek Luke and Mike Epps.

STEP UP REVOLUTION (PG-13) Let’s go ahead and get the criticisms out of the way. The acting and story are crap. Emily (Kathryn McCormick from “So You Think You Can Dance”), a professional dancer comes to Miami and falls for Sean (Ryan Guzman, the series’ latest C-Tates knockoff), who leads a local dance crew. Too bad, Sean and his gang’s neighborhood are being threatened by a development planned by Emily’s father (the eyebrows of Peter Gallagher). Who cares, you say? Tell you about the dancing? The dancing is fantastic. Massive flash mobs utilize laser lights, smoke bombs, costumes and more to stage some of the dance-chise’s most jaw dropping routines (which are often and unfortunately chopped up by too many reaction shots). The choreography is so creative and the 3D so well integrated that this overall subpar movie would be an Academy Award winner, were the Academy to dole out awards for such a thing as choreography. This movie isn’t for everyone, but anyone who digs Fox’s “So You Think You Can Dance” (many of whose former dancers and choreographers, like the ingenious Christopher Scott of the League of Extraordinary Dancers, were involved in this production) won’t want to miss it.

TED (R) I’m not sure what it says about Ted, the funny feature debut of “Family Guy” creator Seth McFarlane, that I, an admitted “Family Guy” detractor, laughed more than anyone else in the theater. Despite the overflowing gay jokes and some poor setups (the introduction to Giovanni Ribisi’s antagonist was awkwardly random), the fairy tale of 35-year-old John (Mark Wahlberg) and Ted (v. McFarlane), the teddy bear he was given on Christmas Day 1985 that came to life via wish, hits the mark more than it misses so long as the talking teddy is involved. Human leads Wahlberg and the increasingly awesome Mila Kunis are appreciated, as is Patrick “Puddy” Warburton. Sadly, Joel McHale is wasted. Any movie in which a central gag revolves around the Queen-scored, cult fave Flash Gordon (star Sam Jones even makes a beefy cameo) is OK in my book, no matter how many tired pot jokes it tokes. Being familiar with, but not appreciative of, McFarlane’s oeuvre, I pleasantly left with more laughs than I expected.

THAT’S MY BOY (R) Is That’s My Boy, Adam Sandler’s latest cinematic atrocity, as bad as the trailer lets on? It’s worse, but in a can’t look away from the accident sort of way that leads a viewer to keep watching until the end, imagining and finally hoping that it doesn’t get any worse. Sandler completely reverts to “SNL”-level character creation as Donny Berger, a guy who ascended to the top of the pop cultural slide after banging (a bit of sexual slang that has never fit better) his hot middle school teacher (Eva Amurri Martino) and getting her pregnant. Now all grown up and flat broke, Donny hopes to hook up to its rising star of a son, Todd (Andy Samberg), and get the money he needs. But Todd wants little to do with his “young” man, what with his impending nuptials to pretty, uptight Jamie (Leighton Meester). Expect the expected, but don’t expect to laugh. Every rude, crude, R-rated joke you can imagine Sandler and crew (Allen Covert, Nick Swardson, etc.) had saved up over the years is included. A gross-out comedy in which no one appears to be trying, That’s My Boy might not be the year’s worst, but it’s close.

TOTAL RECALL (PG-13) The new Total Recall won’t satisfy anyone. Fans of the original will wonder why anyone would choose to watch an ugly, uninspired action/sci-fi flick that’s one Dylan McDermott away from a Syfy special event; those unfortunates who have never seen the original will wonder why anyone would bother remaking it. When factory worker Doug Quaid (Colin Farrell) attempts to get some fake memories installed, he discovers he’s really a secret agent in the middle of a class-based struggle between working-class revolutionaries and the privileged upper class led by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston; again, if you’re not watching “Breaking Bad,” catch up immediately). The new Total Recall attempts to overcome its lack of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s bewildering charisma, Paul Verhoeven’s sharp satire and the original script by Alien’s Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett by incorporating two high-profile hotties (Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale) and director Len Wiseman’s love of lens flares. As much as I love videogames, their ascension has devastated the once vibrant action/sci-fi subgenre. Filmmakers keep creating visually striking, narratively vacuous products inspired by games such as Halo and Half-Life that lack gaming’s key ingredient—interactivity. I’d much rather have played Total Recall than bothered watching it.

THE WATCH (R) When a murder rocks their Ohio burg, some suburbanites—Ben Stiller’s diet dictator, Vince Vaughn’s needy bromantic, Jonah Hill’s psycho and Richard Ayouade’s nebbish—form a neighborhood watch. Little do they suspect that they’ll have to thwart an alien invasion. How much you enjoy this spottily raunchy sci-fi comedy from the combined minds of Seth Rogen/Evan Goldberg and one-third of Lonely Island (director Akiva Schaffer, whose feature debut, Hot Rod, is superior) depends on how funny you find its stars. Anyone that hasn’t enjoyed Stiller, Vaughn or Hill in their prior, better hits will find little appeal in them, as it’s not the script that generates the giggles, it’s the comic force of the stars’ well-known onscreen personas. Stiller's straight man mode lets Vaughn get the bulk of the laughs. However, the typically laidback VV appears to be working harder than usual and has to, considering the comic infertility of the script. Another weakness is how little the lesser-known, but more funny, Ayouade (check out “The IT Crowd” if you want proof) is given to do. The Watch isn’t as unfunny as you may have heard, but it does little to bolster summer 2012’s weak comedic slate.

WHERE THE YELLOWSTONE GOES (NR) The longest undammed river in the lower 48 is traversed over a 30-day drift boat trip that features meetings with colorful locals from both the big cities and the small towns. Start at the Gateway to Montana’s Yellowstone National Park and float on to Buford, ND, with fly fishing guide and fourth generation Montana native Robert Hawkins. The film was an Official Selection of the Newport Beach Film Festival. Filmmaker Hunter Weeks (10 MPH and Ride the Divide) will be present to take part in a Q&A.

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