COLORBEARER OF ATHENS, GEORGIA LOCALLY OWNED SINCE 1987
October 2, 2013

Movie Dope

Short descriptions of movies playing in and around Athens...

• BAGGAGE CLAIM (PG-13) This romantic comedy about a stewardess, Montana (Paula “Mrs. Robin Thicke” Patton), conducting a transcontinental search for a spouse wastes a talented cast (Patton, Derek Luke, Taye Diggs, Djimon Hounsou and Ned Beatty?) in a sub-Tyler Perry situation. Many (not all) of Perry’s movies leave something to vaguely recommend, but David E. Talbert’s adaptation of his own novel does not. Stereotypical crazy ladies (see Tia Mowry-Hardrict) and besties, both gay (Brody) and oversexed (Jill Scott). There’s little to nothing to see or like here. Don’t bother making this connection.

BATTLE OF THE YEAR (PG-13) The Battle of the Year attracts breakdancing teams from around the world. The American team hasn’t won the trophy in 15 years. Josh Holloway (Sawyer from “Lost”) stars as the basketball coach tasked with turning these individual superstars, including Chris Brown and Josh Peck (Red Dawn), into a team. The presence of Brown is an immediate turnoff. The underwhelming trailer doesn’t help. Director Benson Lee’s previous feature was the award winning breakdancing documentary, Planet B-Boy.

BEER HUNTER There’s more than one Michael Jackson. Classic City Brew Fest presents a screening of the documentary about beer journalist Michael Jackson. He did more to assist the current craft brewing craze got off the ground than almost anyone. (Thanks, Michael!) Beer Hunter celebrate Michael’s life, so come raise a cold one to the man who nearly singlehandedly made sure that cold one wasn’t simply a Something Light. Terrapin is sponsoring a Happy Hour and raffle to coincide with the screening. (Ciné)

BLUE JASMINE (PG-13) Oh my god! Andrew Dice Clay in a Woody Allen movie? I’m so in. Not to mention Louis C.K., Bobby Cannavale, Sally Hawkins (so good in Happy-Go-Lucky), Cate Blanchett, Alec Baldwin and Peter Sarsgaard. I don’t even know that I need to know what the film’s plot. (A rich woman moves in with her down to earth sister after her cheating husband loses everything.) Apparently, Allen’s back from his European sojourn, though he hasn’t returned to New York yet; this drama is set in San Francisco.

CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS 2 (PG) The animated family comedy, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, wasn’t quite one for which a sequel seemed necessary. Inventor Flint Lockwood (v. Bill Hader) is working for The Live Corp Company when he must leave his job to investigate claims that his machine is creating food-animal hybrids. Joining Hader for voicework are Anna Faris, James Caan, Will Forte, Andy Samberg, Benjamin Bratt, Neil Patrick Harris and Terry Crews. This flick sounds like it barely escaped a direct to DVD launch.

• DON JON (R) So actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt can do little wrong in my opinion, and his feature writing/directing debut absolutely succeeds despite its strange late film tonal shift. Jersey boy Jon (Gordon-Levitt) loves the ladies, his pad, his car, his family, his boys, his church and his porn. But when he meets Barbara Sugarman (Scarlett Johansson), Jon learns he might have to give up his favorite pastime. Jon makes further discoveries when he meets a sad, community college classmate, Esther (Julianne Moore). JG-L proves a technically superb filmmaker in his rookie outing. Don Jon is excellently, stylishly composed and edited without being over-directed. This awfully adult dramedy might make some viewers uncomfortable with its rather frank sexuality, especially regarding Jon’s porn watching habits. But mature audiences will enjoy an all too topical discussion of how the Internet has potentially changed young people’s sexual expectations with its easy access pornography. Plus, the movie’s funny. Just witness a few of Jon’s weekly shouting matches-cum-dinners with his parents (Tony Danza and Glenne Headly) and always silently texting sister (Brie Larson, The Spectacular Now). Don Jon will be remembered as one of 2013’s more unsung cinematic heroes. 

THE FAMILY (R) The untimely, much too soon death of James Gandolfini ensured that fine actor will never have to mock his greatest role in a lukewarm (or worse) mob comedy as Robert De Niro has. As Fred Blake nee Giovanni Manzoni, De Niro continues his slide into irrelevance. Fred and his family—wife Maggie (Michelle Pfeiffer), daughter Belle (Diana Agron of “Glee”) and son Warren (John D’Leo)—are in international witness protection under the gruff, watchful eye of Tommy Lee Jones’ FBI agent, but the real people who need protecting are the Blake/Manzoni’s neighbors. The Blake/Manzoni family are all sociopathic gangsters. Talk about ugly Americans. Gallic filmmaker Luc Besson has spent recent years focusing on writing and producing such hits as The Transporters and the Takens and less time directing the action movies upon which he built his name (standouts being La Femme Nikita, The Professional and The Fifth Element). Despite its game cast and R-rated violence, The Family will not be remembered as one of Besson’s stronger efforts. Great mob movies are a treasure; mob comedies, as a genre, need to be buried. 

GETAWAY (PG-13) Ethan Hawke continues his genre tear, leaving horror and venturing into action exploitation. Hawke stars as Brent Magna, a former racecar driver who must follow a mysterious man’s directions if he hopes to ever see his kidnapped wife again. Selena Gomez costars as his passenger. Courtney Solomon hasn’t directed much (his previous two features are Dungeons & Dragons and An American Haunting) but has produced a lot as head of After Dark Films. With Jon Voight.

THE GRANDMASTER (PG-13) Popular world filmmaker Wong Kar Wai (Chungking Express, In the Mood for Love, 2046, My Blueberry Nights and more) returns with his first action film since 1994’s Ashes of Time. He’s also tackling the legendary Ip Man, the Chinese martial artist who trained the iconic Bruce Lee. Frequent Wong Kar Wai collaborator Tony Leung Chiu Wai (Infernal Affairs) stars as Yip Man. The film also reunites Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’s lovers, Zhang Ziyi and Chang Chen.

GRAVITY (PG-13) Alfonso Cuaron hasn’t directed a film since Children of Men? How unlucky could we be? Fortunately for us genre fans, Cuaron returns with a science fiction film starring Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. After an accident occurs in space, an engineer and an astronaut struggle to survive. The Gravity trailer is one of the most effective ones I’ve recently seen, and I’m almost convinced to check this movie out in IMAX. Featuring Ed Harris as the voice of Mission Control.

GROWN UPS 2 (PG-13) With nary a grown-up in it, this sequel to Adam Sandler’s second biggest box office hit of all time is worse than its sub-par predecessor. Former Hollywood bigshot Lenny Feder (Sandler) moves his family back to his tiny hometown, but rather than spend time with them, he mostly hangs out with his childhood besties—Eric (Kevin James), Kurt (Chris Rock) and Higgins (David Spade)—and some meathead hangers-on (including Nick Swardson and Shaquille O’Neal). Grown Ups 2’s biggest accomplishment is how worthless it is. “Jokes” fail to land. I lost track of the “guys like boobs” moments; they were simply too many. Likability and funny are not one and the same. Argue all you want about what a great guy Sandler is, because at this point in his career you’ll find it impossible to convince someone he’s still funny, or better yet, relevant; The Internship was more of both. On a gags to chuckles ratio, Sandler ranked behind James, Rock, Spade (yikes), Colin Quinn and maybe, just maybe, Jon Lovitz. That being said, it’s already a box office smash, the monster from the depths that’s destroying the much more entertaining Pacific Rim. Good job, America.

IN A WORLD… (R) Lake Bell is one talented lady. She’s funny, pretty and not a shabby writer-director. Her directorial debut, In a World…, won Sundance’s award for Best Screenplay. Bell stars as Carol, a voice coach who longs to crack the movie trailer voiceover glass ceiling. Her dad just so happens to be the vocal king of movie trailers. The trailer promises a fun indie comedy. With Rob Corddry, Eva Longoria, Ken Marino, Demetri Martin, Nick Offerman and Geena Davis. (Ciné) 

INSTRUCTIONS NOT INCLUDED (PG-13) No Se Aceptan Devoluciones tells the story of an infamous bachelor from Mexico who becomes an unlikely father when a baby is left on his doorstep. 

INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 2 (PG-13) As a horror filmmaker, James Wan, who made his debut with the low budget smash Saw, has grown as a stylist. See The Conjuring or this sequel to his 2009 hit, Insidious. Insidious: Chapter 2 continues the Lambert family’s ghost story. When Josh (Patrick Wilson) returned from the spirit world at the conclusion of the first movie, he didn’t return alone, and his family—wife Renai (Rose Byrne) and sons Dalton (Ty Simpkins) and Foster (Andrew Astor)—is in danger. Fortunately, his mom, Lorraine (Barbara Hershey), and a team of bumbling Scoobies (including screenwriter Leigh Whannel) are on the job, searching for the supernatural solution via some poor comic relief. Chapter 2 is like a reverse Insidious. Chapter 1 had its chilling, mysterious first two acts bogged down by Josh’s blah final stroll through the spirit world. The sequel painfully explicates a dumb story for two acts, relying on trite haunted house tropes like slamming doors and flying household objects, before a strong final act that finally brings the scary and some nifty callbacks to the first movie. Insidious: Chapter 2 is no The Conjuring, where Wan proved he’s got the goods. Now he needs to show some consistency.

LEE DANIELS’ THE BUTLER (PG-13) I wonder if Lee Daniels now wished he’d followed up Precious with this crowd-pleasing slice of historical nostalgia, chronicling the major events of the second half of the 20th century through the eyes of White House butler Cecil Gaines (Forrest Whitaker). Were this film released later in the year, I’m sure Whitaker would be in the awards hunt; however, this August release date didn’t hurt The Help. With its exceptional cast—Robin Williams, James Marsden, Liev Schreiber, John Cusack and Alan Rickman appear as Presidents Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon and Reagan, plus there’s Oprah, Terrence Howard, Mariah Carey, Melissa Leo, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Lenny Kravitz, Jane Fonda and Vanessa Redgrave—The Butler overcomes the natural tendency of such films to drift into sentimental nostalgia. Daniels never sugarcoats the Civil Rights Movement, especially impressive for its PG-13 rating. The Butler’s anecdotal narrative inevitably draws comparisons to Forrest Gump, but Daniels’ film is more complicated. Too bad the scenes of Gaines’ home life, dominated by Oprah as his unhappy wife, lack the strength of those set in the White House and the Deep South. (Note: The title was changed to Lee Daniels’ The Butler for reasons of copyright, not ego.)

THE LITTLE TIN MAN Ciné presents the Athens premiere of this independent comedy from UGA alums Matthew Perkins (co-writer and director), Nathan Dugan Bridges (co-writer) and Aaron Beelner. Struggling dwarf actor Herman (Beelner) seeks to be a leading man in Martin Scorsese’s latest film, a remake of The Wizard of Oz. Star Beelner will be present for a Q&A. With Jeff Hiller, Chris Henry Coffey, Michael McGlone and many other comics from the celebrated Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and Broadway. (Ciné) 

PERCY JACKSON: SEA OF MONSTERS (PG) Percy Jackson & the Lightning Thief was not terrible, but it definitely suffered from Chris Columbus Syndrome. Well, its successor, Sea of Monsters, has full-blown, terminal sequelitis. The titular hero, Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman), must save Camp Half-Blood, the safe haven for the gods’ half-mortal children, so he embarks on a quest for the legendary Golden Fleece. Backed by his pals—Athena’s daughter Annabeth (the gorgeous, unnecessarily blonde Alexandra Daddario) and his Cyclops half-brother, Tyson (Douglas Smith)—Percy must defeat bland villain Luke (Jake Abel), who’s still mad at his dad (Zeus), rescue satyr Grover (Brandon Jackson) from Polyphemus (fortunately voiced by Ron Perlman) and defeat a reborn Cronos. Even with the additions of Nathan Fillion, Stanley Tucci and Anthony Head (stepping into Pierce Brosnan’s digitized hooves as centaur teacher Chiron), Sea of Monsters is a giant misfire. This flick isn’t even worth the excuse to stare at Alexandra Daddario for almost two hours. Even the all right FX cannot overcome the awful writing and charmless acting, especially from Lerman. Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters has almost surely sunk the chances of Percy Jackson: The Titan’s Curse ever seeing the light of day. Someone else cast Daddario stat!

PLANES (PG) What with its Cars pedigree and Dane Cook voicework, Planes could have been a lot worse. It’s no more disagreeable than Turbo, a kiddie flick with which it shares some central DNA. A cropduster named Dusty Crophopper (v. Cook) longs to race across the skies. Unfortunately, he’s afraid of heights. With the help of his friends—including a Mater stand-in named Chug (v. Brad Garrett)—and mentor, Skipper (v. Stacy Keach), Dusty conquers his fears and the skies. It’s cute, sweet, and maybe a smidge direct-to-DVD; the voice cast—Teri Hatcher, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, John Cleese, Cedric the Entertainer, Anthony Edwards, Val Kilmer and Sinbad (?!)—is a step below the usual Pixar crop (though John Ratzenberger does pop by for his obligatory vocal cameo). Kids that love Cars will not care and will most likely fall for Planes. What’s next? Ships?

PRISONERS (R) Don’t head into Prisoners if you’re in the mood for some lighthearted escapism. On a rainy Thanksgiving, two young girls go missing. The parents, Keller and Grace Dover (Hugh Jackman and Maria Bello) and Franklin and Nancy Birch (Terrence Howard and Viola Davis, look everywhere but eventually turn to the police, represented by Detective Loki (Jake Gyllenhaal). An obvious prime suspect, the mentally challenged Alex Jones (Paul Dano), appears, but no further clues can be found. A dark morality play from Contraband scripter Aaron Guzikowski, the two and a half hour Prisoners lasts a while. Jackman will probably land on the Academy’s shortlist for his turn as survivalist Dover, who won’t give up on his daughter; he also goes further to find her than the law allows. As Jackman’s co-lead, Gyllenhaal furthers separates himself from his pretty peers, though Guzikowski could have opened up Loki a bit more for the audience. He remains more a determined cipher than a complete character as his dogged drive is never examined. No one in the well-known cast underperforms in Denis Villeneuve’s follow-up to his Academy Award nominated Incendies. Villeneuve’s Prisoners feels like home-grown Haneke; it’s a tough, mature box office hit.

RIDDICK (R) Vin Diesel’s return as the anti-hero Richard B. Riddick may not have the scope of The Chronicles of Riddick, but writer-director David Twohy’s return to the smaller scale, B-grade science fiction of Pitch Black proves a smart move. Five years after the events of Chronicles, Riddick is stranded on a hostile planet. The arrival of dueling mercenary teams (one includes Katee “Starbuck” Sackhoff), both looking to capture or kill the convicted murderer. Much as in Pitch Black, Riddick’s peculiar skill set is needed to help his human foes defeat the planet’s native creatures. Diesel simply nails Riddick’s charismatic killer, but it’s easy to pull for him when his hunters are so lackluster, outside of the aforementioned Sackhoff. Twohy has created a cool character in a familiar sci-fi milieu, and while I would have preferred the series continue its more mythic, Conan-in-space trajectory, the box office of Chronicles said otherwise. Smaller works better for this character, as is proven by Pitch Black and its almost too similarly structured second sequel. Some better genre faces to support the underrated Diesel (think the first film’s Radha Mitchell, Cole Hauser and Keith David) would benefit any future Riddick adventures.

RUNNER RUNNER (R) Justin Timberlake stars as Richie Furst, a Princeton undergrad who loses his tuition money in an online poker scam. Rather than simply learning his lesson, Richie heads to the remote island where the game is hosted and confronts Ivan Block (Ben Affleck). Suddenly, Richie is Ivan’s right hand man and in the crosshairs of FBI Agent Zbysko (Anthony Mackie). Director Brad Furman last helmed The Lincoln Lawyer, which was better than expected. With Gemma Arterton.

• RUSH (R) You will never know you are watching a Ron Howard film during this recreation of the 1976 Formula One battle between James Hunt (Chris “Thor” Hemsworth) and Niki Lauda (Daniel Bruhl). The rivalry merely heats up after Lauda suffers life-threatening burns during a midseason race. Howard recreates the sensational racing more realistically than any racing movie I have ever seen, and the script by Academy Award nominee Peter Morgan (his The Queen remains one of my favorite films of the last decade) fashions realistic people from these larger than life race car drivers. Hemsworth is terrific at being likably arrogant, but we all knew that from Thor and The Avengers. It is Bruhl, best known to American audiences from Inglourious Basterds, who captivates. His level-headed, unpleasantly disciplined Lauda overcomes the odds to stand out as the film’s champion, no matter who wins on the racetrack. Whether or not you like racing (stock car or formula) or Ron Howard films, Rush is that rare adult action drama that never loses speed on or off the track. 

THE SPECTACULAR NOW (R) Maybe romantic high school dramedies where teen sweethearts like Sutter (Miles Teller) and Aimee (Shailene Woodley) trudge through their senior year of high school do not appeal to you. Then you can still enjoy seeing our great Athens on the big screen. Acclaimed filmmaker and Cedar Shoals grad, James Ponsoldt, returns with what, in a perfect world, would be his breakthrough film. In Teller and Woodley, Ponsoldt has chosen two young actors with the natural, charming effortlessness of bigger stars, and both are poised on the brink of superstardom. Adapted from Tim Tharp’s novel by (500) Days of Summer writers Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber, The Spectacular Now is a teen movie made by and for adults that stands out by not indoctrinating audiences into the cult of youth.

THIS IS THE END (R) This pot-fueled “apoc-comedic” nightmare from Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg is far funnier than most meta-comedies starring comic actors as themselves. The “real” personas concocted by Rogen, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel (you remember him from “Undeclared,” right?), Craig Robinson and Danny McBride fuel this raunchy end of the world get-together. In their directorial debut, Rogen/Goldberg might have kept in a few gags that would have been better saved for the Unrated DVD; the comedy does push two hours. Still, it rarely lets up, not even when it enters pseudo-religious territory. These guys make the day of reckoning a fun one.

TURBO (PG) Why, in a cinematic world so accepting of superheroes, is the idea of a racing snail so absurd? I don’t know, but it is. After a first act highlighted by endearing animation and stellar voice work from Ryan Reynolds and Paul Giamatti, Turbo gets stupid, as the main mollusk is imbued with the abilities of a car (not just speed but alarm, radio and headlights) after a freak accident involving a street racer and some nitrous. After buddying up with a taco-making fellow named Tito (Michael Pena), Turbo and his other racing snail pals—including Whiplash (v. Samuel L. Jackson) and Smoove Move (v. Snoop Dogg)—head to the Indy 500, where they will face off against defending champion and world’s greatest racecar driver, Guy Gagne (v. Bill Hader). While a much better cartoon than its trailer portrays, Turbo will mostly appeal to those kiddies for whom Cars has run out of gas. I never imagined animated snails could be so appealing. Turbo definitely benefits from one of the best voice casts (I have yet to mention Richard Jenkins, Ken Jeong, Michelle Rodriguez, Maya Rudolph and Luis Guzman) of the summer.

WE’RE THE MILLERS (R) We’re the Millers doesn’t break any laugh records, but after a few laughless weeks at the cinema, it more than accomplishes its goal. Its silliest problem is its star, the hilarious Jason Sudeikis, who comes off far too smug far too easily. (One wonders how this movie would have played with a more sympathetic David Clark, played by Jason Bateman or Jason Segel, etc.) After running afoul of his drug kingpin pal (Ed Helms), Dave (Sudeikis) must smuggle a smidge that turns out to be a lot more than a smidge of marijuana across the border. Dave hatches a brilliant plan to fake a family with stripper Rose (Jennifer Aniston, who is getting hotter with age), runaway teen Casey (Emma Roberts) and virginal Kenny (Will Poulter, Son of Rambow). Everything works out great until he runs into a swell DEA agent and his wife (Nick Offerman and Kathryn Hahn) and the big-time Mexican drug lord to whom the weed really belongs to catches up with them. We’re the Millers will probably gain popularity once it starts airing non-stop on FX. Still, it’s a funny afternoon diversion, thanks mostly to its clever cast, not its familiarly sitcom-ish script.

THE WOLVERINE (PG-13) A darker, more complicated hero than Marvel’s super-bankable Iron Man and Spider-Man, Wolvie poses a narrative difficulty, much like The Punisher, who Hollywood has yet to get right. The Wolverine comes closest to nailing this popular, mysterious icon. After the events of X-Men: The Last Stand, Logan has shed his Wolverine persona to live a solitary life in the woods. However, the last request of a dying friend whisks the clawed one off to Japan. Director James Mangold and writers Mark Bomback and Scott Frank chose smartly in adapting Frank Miller and Chris Claremont’s seminal 1982 limited series. 

THE WORLD’S END (R) The Cornetto Trilogy, begun in Shaun of the Dead, concludes pitch-perfectly with The World’s End. Five old friends—Gary King (co-writer Simon Pegg), Andy (Nick Frost), Ollie (Martin Freeman), Steve (Paddy Considine) and Peter (Eddie Marsan)—reunite in their hometown to again attempt an epic pub crawl. They just didn’t realize the world as they know it might be ending, when their pub crawl is interrupted by a Who-vian invasion of blue-blooded robots. Pegg and director/co-writer Edgar Wright know comedy. The jokes all land and the comic beats/pauses are perfectly synced. You will want to watch The World’s End again just to hear the jokes you laughed through the first time. Franchise filmdom (Mission: Impossible and Star Trek) hasn’t dulled Pegg’s charm, and grown-up teenager Gary is a wonderfully well-drawn slacker bookend to Shaun. Frost seems to enjoy playing the straight man, at least for a bit. The increasingly giddy Marsan, though, will be the revelation for most viewers. As silly as the bits can be, The World’s End captures the melancholy of growing up, old and apart from childhood friends. It’s like a Big Chill for Generation Zed. With jokes. And robots.

WORLD WAR Z (PG-13) The biggest zombie (and arguably horror) movie EVER MADE is better than expected, judging from its PG-13 rating and tortured production history. Former U.N. employee Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt) is sent around the globe to discover the source of the zombie pandemic threatening to wipe out humanity. Also, if he doesn’t go, the U.S. military is going to kick his wife (Mirielle Enos of “The Killing,” another TV show you should be watching) and two daughters off their aircraft carrier. One-time Bond director Marc Forster (he of the uber-versatile filmography) and his stable of writers (the screenplay’s credited to three writers including The Cabin in the Woods’ Drew Goddard and “Lost”’s Damon Lindelof) turn Max “Son of Mel” Brooks’ oral history of the zombie conflict into a more focused, traditional “one hero must race time to save the world,” and it works. Minor quibbles range from a lack of blood (blame the need for a PG-13 rating to recoup the massive budget) and way too fast, superstrong zombies; still, it’s way more exciting than the second season of “The Walking Dead.” With its focus on action over scares, WWZ is the Resident Evil 5 of zombie movies.

YOU’RE NEXT (R) Wow. Ridiculously overhyped horror movies typically cannot live up to the hyperbolic claims crafted by overzealous marketing folk. You’re Next, directed by Adam Wingard (check out his earlier feature, A Horrible Way to Die), is the best horror film since the last best horror film, except, unlike the new Evil Dead, You’re Next really is that great. With the strongest cold open since Scream, this home invasion flick (my favorite slasher subgenre) ratchets up the tension for an hour and a half without ever letting up. A well-to-do family—including indie darlings Joe Swanberg (check out his new feature, Drinking Buddies), Ti West (House of the Devil and The Innkeepers), Aimee Seimetz and former Tasty World bartender AJ Bowen—are stalked by a group of killers in animal masks, who may have met their match in one son’s new girlfriend, Erin (Sharni Vinson). Hopefully, I haven’t said too much to ruin the horrific fun. Wingard and collaborator Simon Barrett take a well-known, beloved and maligned genre, turning it on its head with gleefully violent abandon. Remember; it’s okay to laugh. The horror movie of the year may well be one of the year’s best films, period.

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