DREW'S REVIEWS

THE LEGO MOVIE (PG) The LEGO Movie is most certainly the young year’s best new, wide release. The intricate, interconnected universes built by writing-directing duo Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and 21 Jump Street) has an age-defying Muppets-like appeal. When generic construction mini-figure Emmet (v. Chris Pratt, who is so devilishly appealing) gets up in the morning, he follows the day’s instructions as handed down by president/overlord Business (v. Will Ferrell). Soon, Emmet gets involved with a Matrix-ian rebel group led by Vitruvius (v. Morgan Freeman), a pretty mini-fig who goes by Wildstyle (v. Elizabeth Banks) and her BF, Batman (v. Will Arnett). The LEGO Movie uses its licenses (D.C., Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings) smartly as it argues for the salvation of creativity. A movie made from the toy that frees the childhood (and adult) imagination has to stay on its toes in order to not diminish the property. This film, which should battle for the year’s best animated film come the next awards cycle, reconstructs the greatest childhood movie memories from the building blocks that best defined the young and not-yet-so-old generation.

THE MONUMENTS MEN (PG-13) The Monuments Men is a rousing World War II yarn about an unlikely platoon assigned the mission of protecting humanity’s art from history’s greatest douchebags, the Nazis. Seriously, already history’s top seed in any Tournament of Big Bads, the Nazis were also giant d-bags who burned great works of art because they couldn’t have it. Fortunately, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bill Murray, John Goodman, Jean Dujardin, Bob Balaban and Hugh Bonneville scoured the war-torn continent and nabbed the best stuff from those firebug Nazis and art-thieving Soviets. The true story recounted by writer-director George Clooney is a fascinating historical footnote that makes for great cinema. It’s just that this level of filmmaker and cast promises grander, award-winning cinema. The Monuments Men is seeking that level of acclaim, and the entertaining war drama delivers a mature, art-filled reboot of “Hogan’s Heroes.” (Hollywood, take this cast, toss in Christoph Waltz, and let the Cloon jam on a big screen “Hogan’s.” I dare you.) The Monuments Men has too many appealing personalities; the audience never gets to adequately spend enough time with Murray/Balaban, Goodman/Dujardin, Damon/Cate Blanchett or Clooney. But the time we get is well-spent.

VAMPIRE ACADEMY (PG-13) Oh no, Mark Waters. Mean Girls did not buy you the sort of credibility needed to pull off Vampire Academy, which is at best a CW show that mercifully only lasts one season. Rose Hathaway (Zoey Deutch, whose one standout feature in this movie is her cleavage) is a Dhampir, a half-vampire, half-mortal that has to protect the good blood suckers—European snobs called the Moroi—from the bad bloodsuckers—more traditional vampires called the Strigoi. This flick plays like a low-rent “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” knockoff greenlit over a decade too late. It also lacks the onscreen talent to pull off the silly Harry Potter boarding school shenanigans or the diet “Slayer” horror action. The narrative is intermittently incomprehensible, the transitions amateurish and the acting on par with an '80s slasher flick (not the subgenre’s calling card). Vampire Academy’s sole redeeming quality is a badness that borders on a campiness, which almost tempts one to keep watching in order to see just how bad it can get. Don’t take that as a weak recommendation…or a challenge.

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ABOUT LAST NIGHT (R) For Valentine’s Day, director Steve Pink and Bachelorette writer Leslye Headland adapted the 1986 romantic dramedy starring Rob Lowe and Demi Moore into a contemporary romcom starring Kevin Hart. Hart is one half of two new couples attempting to survive in the wild, real world. Hart is joined by Michael Ealy, Regina Hall and Joy Bryant. Pink’s previous features, Accepted and Hot Tub Time Machine, weren’t awful. Interestingly, the original play, Sexual Perversity in Chicago, was written by David Mamet.

AMERICAN HUSTLE (R) Since 2004’s disappointing I Heart Huckabees, from which his on-set meltdown went viral, David O. Russell has been on fire. Could his latest film be his greatest yet? Yes; it’s certainly possible. A fictional account of the real life ABSCAM investigation that sent several members of federal, state and local government to prison, American Hustle, already nominated for seven Golden Globes, is set to rake in more nominations. Conman Irving Rosenfeld (a near unrecognizable Christian Bale) and his not exactly British girlfriend, Sydney Prosser (Amy Adams), are forced by an unstable FBI agent, Richie DiMaso (a sweetly permed Bradley Cooper), into conning the mayor of Camden, New Jersey, Carmine Polito (Jeremy Renner), and some of the scariest mobsters still living (enjoy the uncredited surprise guest!). Torn between his love and his beautiful, crazy, young wife (Jennifer Lawrence) and son, Irving has to come up with his master plan to escape jail and death. Russell has proven an uncanny ability to take a great cast and make them greater. American Hustle is a film made for ensemble cast awards; picking one standout nears impossible, though the film takes a hit during most of Bale’s absences. Go. See it.

ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES (PG-13) Much has changed since last we heard from San Diego’s top newsman, Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell). He married co-anchor, Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate), and moved to New York City. But professional disappointment relegates Ron back to San Diego until he is offered the chance to front a 24-hour news network, the first of its kind. Ron returns to the Big Apple with his old news team behind him: features-stud Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd), sports-guy Champ Kind (David Koechner) and weatherman Brick Tamland (Steve Carell). But they face new challenges from rival anchor Jack Lime (James Marsden) and Veronica’s new lover Gary (Greg Kinnear). The jokes might not fly as fast or as quotable as those of the original, but the narrative and characters are better. Carell’s newfound stardom after the first movie means more Brick, and surprisingly, that’s a good thing. A late detour into staged melodrama falls a bit flat, adding unnecessary length, and the expected climactic battle gets too cameo-heavy with little comic payoff. Happily, the legend of Ron Burgundy is not tarnished by his return; only time will tell whether the sequel retains (or surpasses?) its predecessor’s rewatchability.

AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY (R) What a miserable two hours! Find the most dysfunctional family you know, and visit them during a time of mourning. That experience is guaranteed to be less grueling than the time spent with Oklahoma’s Westons. Matriarch Violet (Academy Award nominee Meryl Streep, chewing up scenes and spitting them out in illustrious award bait fashion) has cancer and is cancerous. Her husband, Beverly (Sam Shepard), disappears, bringing her three unhappy daughters—Barb (Academy Award nominee Julia Roberts), Ivy (Julianne Nicholson, “Masters of Sex”) and Karen (Juliette Lewis)—back home. Secrets are outed. Some shock (I won’t spoil the big ones); most do not (Barb and her husband, played by Ewan McGregor, are separated). Playwright Tracy Letts (Bug, Killer Joe) adapts his play for the screen, but it’s still mostly a series of shouted monologues less than impressively handled by TV vet John Wells. The movie is so stagy, one expects an intermission. This movie is old-fashioned award porn, fashioned from an award-winning cast that includes three Oscar winners (Streep, Roberts and Chris Cooper) and three more nominees (Lewis, Shepard and Abigail Breslin). Streep’s diehard fanbase of middle aged to older women will devour this exhausting film. 

CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS 2 (PG) The animated family comedy, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, wasn’t quite one for which a sequel seemed necessary. Inventor Flint Lockwood (v. Bill Hader) is working for The Live Corp Company when he must leave his job to investigate claims that his machine is creating food-animal hybrids. Joining Hader for voicework are Anna Faris, James Caan, Will Forte, Andy Samberg, Benjamin Bratt, Neil Patrick Harris and Terry Crews. This flick sounds like it barely escaped a direct to DVD launch.

DALLAS BUYERS CLUB (R) Matthew McConaughey is more than all right, all right, all right in his Oscar-nominated turn as Ron Woodroof, a walking, talking Texas cliché who suffers from AIDS. In the late '80s, the oversexed electrician-cum-bullrider gamed the system for years to lengthen his life and provide needed, unapproved medications to the subscribers of his Dallas Buyers Club. The McConaughey film that truly deserved a Best Picture nomination is Mud, but the star and Jared Leto, whose beautiful performance as transgendered AIDS patient Rayon will most likely earn the former Jordan Catalano an Oscar, put this above average film on the award map. Griffin Dunne is always a welcome sight too. Dallas Buyers Club has the right mix of pathos, humor and character growth to please a rather broad swath of filmgoers from the heartland to the coastline, which assists the awards success of director Jean-Marc Vallee’s bittersweet biopic. But let’s face it; McConaughey’s renaissance is fueling DBC’s buzz. Has McConaughey overtaken Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt as the foremost pretty boy romantic lead remade as a serious leading man? Only time—and maybe Oscar—will tell.

DELIVERY MAN (PG-13) In Ken Scott’s remake of his own Canadian hit, Vince Vaughn stars as Dave Wozniak, a guy who, 20 years earlier, donated nearly 700 samples to a sperm bank. Now, the 500 plus kids that resulted from his sperm want to know who their daddy is via a class action lawsuit. Dave’s girlfriend (“How I Met Your Mother”’s Cobie Smulders, who is pretty much wasted) is pregnant with the first of his kids that he’ll get to raise. Vaughn gets to show a touch more vulnerability as Dave, who’s more of a woebegone charmer than his typical fast talkers. The true standout of the movie is Chris Pratt, who’s hopefully set to blow up after muscleing up for James Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy. Pratt already steals the show on “Parks and Recreation;” now he steals the feature from star Vaughn. Polish actor Andrzej Blumenfeld also owns his few scenes as Dave’s sweet father. Still, Pratt and Vaughn are not enough to make this likable, comedic slacker worth a theatrical viewing. This cute, intriguing story, which already played better in a smaller movie, might be better off on a smaller screen.

DEVIL’S DUE (R) The trailer promised a found footage update of the Rosemary’s Baby scenario—a woman is mysteriously impregnated with the antichrist—but unsurprisingly, that movie did not need to be made. A newly married couple, Zach (a way too sincere Zach Gilford, “Friday Night Lights”) and Samantha (Allison Miller), loses a night on their honeymoon in Santo Domingo. Suddenly, Sam is pregnant, and she has worse problems than morning sickness. This horrific pregnancy proceeds exactly as expected. Devil’s Due has several problems, and lack of terror tops the list. Filmmakers Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett (half of V/H/S’s Radio Silence) switch filming methods too many times to keep the found footage gimmick alive. First, Zach’s the guy who wants to film every moment for posterity; then the cult sets up home surveillance a la Paranormal Activity; then some teens in the woods just happen to be filming themselves doing nothing. Found footage has a hard enough purchasing audience buy-in; switching the device so much kills the connection. Points for finally using a hands-free camera; too bad it was just for the climax. Use that nauseating trick for a whole film, and you’ve brought something fresh to found footage.

ENDLESS LOVE (PG-13) A young woman (Gabriella Wild) falls for a bad boy (Alex Pettyfer); her parents (Bruce Greenwood and Joely Richardson) try to keep them apart. This dramatic romance has displayed a bit of an identity crisis, judging from its confused trailers. One implies a darker, scarier romance than the others. Guess we’ll have to wait until Valentine’s Day to find out which is the real Endless Love. Director Shana Feste last helmed the dramatically confused Country Strong.

FROZEN (PG) Disney returns with a newfangled computer animated feature that feels very old school. A young princess, Anna (v. Kristen Bell), must venture into the frozen wilds to save her sister, recently crowned Queen Elsa (v. Idina Menzel), who has lost control over her icy powers. Anna is assisted in her search by ice salesman Kristoff (v. Jonathan Groff, “Glee”), his reindeer, Sven, and a goofy, talking snowman named Olaf (v. Josh Gad). The narrative, adapted from Hans Christian Anderson’s “The Snow Queen” by Wreck-It Ralph scripter Jennifer Lee (who co-directed), is as Disney formulaic as they come, and the animation shines without standing out. Nonetheless, the characters, especially Gad’s silly snowman, are winning. The songs are catchy, as is their diegetic musical inclusion. Little kids will love Frozen, and parents who grew up on Disney classics will not feel left out in the cold. 

HER (R) Her is done little justice by loglines. People who haven’t heard of it either find it too strange or too silly. They are so misguided. The first film written by Spike Jonze alone, Her stars a really nice, mildmannered Joaquin Phoenix as Theodore Twombly. Ted writes personal letters for strangers and is struggling through a divorce. Then he meets his new Operating System and falls in love…with the OS. Samantha is voiced by Scarlett Johannson, so the concept isn’t THAT outlandish. The film is mostly Phoenix interacting with Johannson’s voice. Sometimes an unmade Amy Adams pops by to again verify her brilliance. While Phoenix and ScarJo incredibly do their thing, Jonze and his behind the scenes folk drip visual magic into audience eyes with their retro-future design. You get told so many times how awesome an award-worthy festival winner is before getting the opportunity to see it, that, frankly, many times the hype trumps the film. Her is the exception. It is unreservedly wonderful. But here we are with Gravity and Her duking it out for my and many other best film accolades.

THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE (PG-13) The Hunger Games returns, and its sequel, while more a formality setting up the series’ final, revolutionary entry, improves upon an original that was more of a visual book report than an exciting cinematic adaptation. (Original director Gary Ross’ absence was addition by subtraction.) After surviving the 74th Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) and Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson) are the Capitol’s newest celebrities. But all is not well in the Districts, and creepy President Snow (Donald Sutherland, who I’ve only just noticed resembles Sid Haig) lets Katniss know it by putting her back in the next year’s Games. New director Francis Lawrence (I Am Legend) paces the film better once we escape District 12 (every scene in it is so drab and boring), and the Quarter Quell is excitingly envisioned with deadly fog, killer monkeys and fun new faces like Finnick (a key new role well played by Sam Claflin) and Johanna (Jena Malone). Largely dismissed as repetitive upon the novel’s release, the underrated Catching Fire successfully adds more wrinkles to the Suzanne Collins’ formula than its more straightforward predecessor. However, it’s about time Katniss take more charge of her situation, a flaw hopefully remedied by the franchise finale, Mockingjay.

I, FRANKENSTEIN (PG-13) Do not feed I, Frankenstein. It breaks the cardinal rule of knowingly bad cinema. Cast someone entertaining. If a movie was ever tailor-made for Nicolas Cage’s brand of ham, I, Frank is it. Frankenstein’s Monster, hereafter named Adam (Aaron Eckhart), thanks to an angelic gargoyle played by Miranda Otto, finds himself embroiled in the heretofore unknown, centuries-ancient struggle between Demon and Gargoyle. Pirates of the Caribbean writer Stuart Beattie makes an entertaining hash of Underworld scribe Kevin Grevioux’s graphic novel that turns Mary Shelley’s rumination about man playing god into a “kickass” version of the videogame, Devil May Cry, which totally deserves a filmed adaptation after this flick. Had early '90s Christopher Lambert been the star, I’d have devoured this movie on VHS, after missing out on what would have been an all-too-brief theatrical run. Cast Cage, and this thankfully swiftly paced horror-actioner might have ventured into neo-camp classic territory. Bill Nighy practically models self-control as a Demon Prince just screaming for amped up camp. Why should Bill break a sweat when no one else is? At least I, Frank kept me awake; that’s more than I can say for any of the four Underworlds.

INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS (R) So the Coen Brothers deliver one of their most rewarding films yet, even if it does feature yet another self-destructive protagonist. Yet folk singer Llewyn Davis (Oscar Isaac) is a charmer as he hops from couch to couch during the cold New York winter of 1961; Carey Mulligan and Justin Timberlake are the two most recognizable providers of said couches. Isaac has been an award show fixture, and his performance certainly fits the bill for breakout. He’s in every scene and, besides some unsurprising scene stealing from John Goodman as a jazz-hole, no one competes with Isaac. The Coens have given the young actor a heck of a gift. What a witty way the Coens use space in these tiny New York hallways, and music, obviously, plays the biggest role in a Coen film since O Brother, Where Art Thou?, with whom this film shares music guru T-Bone Burnett. It has a bit of a head scratching conclusion, but everything preceding it bittersweetly tickles the heart and the quirky bone, much like we’ve come to expect from the Brothers Coen. They forsake the showy genre gamesmanship of No Country and True Grit for something more emotionally effective. (Ciné)

JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT (PG-13) Tom Clancy’s CIA analyst turned operative has been portrayed on screen by four different actors—Alec Baldwin, Harrison Ford, Ben Affleck and now Chris Pine—but this latest film, based on an original script that isn't one of Clancy’s technothrillers, gives the character a mostly successful makeover into America’s answer to James Bond. Scripters Adam Cozad and David Koepp (many a blockbuster including Mission: Impossible and Jurassic Park) start their retconning in 2001, with 9/11 pushing Ryan from doctoral student at the London School of Economics to marine injured in Afghanistan. His rehab introduces the heroic soldier to future wife, Cathy Muller (Keira Knightley, sporting an uncomfortable American non-accent), and CIA mentor, William Harper (Kevin Costner, as stalwart as ever). The action moves to Russia where director Kenneth Branagh gives a great audition for future Bond villainy as Victor Cherevin. This new(re)born franchise needs more giant action setpieces to compete with Bond, but the setup is strong. (No one will probably notice if they quietly change lead actresses down the road.) Branagh continues to strengthen the action blockbuster section of his resume. Maybe most importantly, he keeps the movie a svelte 105 minutes; some more experienced action helmers take note.

LABOR DAY (PG-13) No more cinematically offensive than an above average Nicholas Sparks flick (we’re not talking The Notebook here), Labor Day is a strange film from Jason Reitman, but good for him for striking out from his comfort zone, even if the results are far less successful than his previous Oscar nominees. A divorced mother, Adele (Kate Winslet in a rare performance not nominated for an Academy Award), and her teenage son, Henry (Gattlin Griffith), meet escaped convict Frank (Josh Brolin). Of course, Frank is one of those good, misunderstood murderers, a fact we know from the trailer which spoils the entire first act. Reitman attempts to establish danger and mystery, but the only mystery is how long it’ll take Frank and Adele to hook up. Labor Day is single mom porn. A burly, handsome man wanders into a lonely woman’s life, bakes some tasty pie and fixes the car/house/etc. I haven’t read Joyce Maynard’s novel, but I have to imagine it contained more literary depth to have captured Reitman’s attention. Otherwise, why not just pick a Sparks bestseller to adapt if you want to make a romantic drama?

LONE SURVIVOR (R) The spoiler-ishly titled Lone Survivor does not hide from what it is, which amounts to injury porn in the second act (the characters’ two falls are brutal). While on Operation Red Wings, four Navy SEALs—team leader Mike Murphy (Taylor Kitsch), Axe (Ben Foster), Danny (Emile Hirsch, who more and more resembles a tiny version of Jack Black) and Marcus Luttrell (Mark Wahlberg), upon whose book this film is based—battle an army of Taliban fighters. The cinematic account of this true story is written and directed by Peter Berg, whose The Kingdom was severely underrated (and superior to his latest), like Friday Night Lights with soldiers. Even the incredible Explosions in the Sky provides the score. Nothing about Lone Survivor is particularly unsuccessful, though which member of the bearded quartet is which can be hard to distinguish during the hectic firefight. Berg shoots action with a visceral viciousness, taking some visual cues from first person shooters like Call of Duty (a videogame movie Berg will probably one day helm). Lone Survivor will please the action-heads out there, but it takes the home movies before the end credits to remind audiences these soldiers were actual husbands and fathers.

NEBRASKA (R) Alexander Payne’s newest film, a sadly sweet comedy about aging and parenting one’s parent, lacks The Descendants’ cool (i.e. George Clooney), but its lack of cool is more than made up for by sparse stylishness and dual Oscar nominess, Bruce Dern and June Squib. Aged, confused Woodrow Grant (wily vet Dern, whose last Oscar nom came in 1978) is convinced he’s won a million dollars via sweepstakes. His son David (former “Saturday Night Live” player Will Forte, who has a lot more to offer than MacGruber), agrees to drive his dad from Montana to Nebraska by way of his dying hometown. Superior smugness is an easy trap for Hollywood bigshots poking fun at the heartland, but Payne and first-time feature writer Bob Nelson deftly avoid it to teach us that you can go home again; maybe you just shouldn’t. (Ciné)

THE NUT JOB (PG) The latest animated feature (it seems as if there are so many nowadays) pits a curmudgeonly squirrel named (a bit on the nose) Surly (v. Will Arnett) against the city. When he finds Maury’s Nut Store, he may just have found the way to alleviate his and the rest of his park community’s winter worries. Brendan Fraser, Liam Neeson and Katherine Heigl are the next three biggest names in the voice cast. Will this movie capture its family audience without a big name like Disney or DreamWorks behind it? 

OUT OF THE FURNACE (R) Like an episode of “Justified” minus the deft, light touch of Elmore Leonard, Out of the Furnace focuses on working class heroes and backwoods baddies. After a tragic accident, steel mill worker Russell Baze (Christian Bale) faces more bad news as his soldier brother, Rodney (Casey Affleck), runs afoul of a meth-ed up MF-er named Harlan DeGroat (a natural role for Woody Harrelson). Despite warnings from the local policeman (Forest Whitaker), who just so happens to be dating Russell’s ex-girlfriend (Zoe Saldana), Russell tackles Harlan head-on. Crazy Heart filmmaker Scott Cooper follows up his Academy Award-winning debut, mostly renowned for its performances, with another heavy drama whose best feature is its actors. Bale and Harrelson are standouts, though Harrelson nearly succumbs to hamminess with his lollipop routine. Clumsy plot devices and characters (cough, Rodney, cough) that almost erase all of their sympathy recur, but the tension of Russell’s sad world will suck you in. Plus, the soundtrack features Pearl Jam; it’s hard to say no to Pearl Jam.

PAROLE VIOLATORS 1994. Bad Movie Night returns with Parole Violators starring the not quite renowned Sean Donahue, the stuntman turned actor who just happens to be the son of this terrible flick’s writer-director, Patrick G. Donahue. The younger Donahue plays Miles Long, the host of TV’s “Parole Violators,” who must rescue his girlfriend’s daughter from Chico, the recently paroled, multiple child murderer he put behind bars. Enjoy some free action shenanigans selected just for you at Ciné’s Bad Movie Night! (Ciné)

THE PRINCESS BRIDE (PG) 1987. The Princess Bride benefits most from an acidic yet heartwarming script by Hollywood legend William Goldman, who adapted his own novel. Westley (Cary Elwes) risks life and limb to rescue his love Buttercup (Robin Wright) from the evil Prince Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon). Assisted by humongous Fezzik (Andre the Giant) and vengeful Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin), Westley must outwit a Sicilian (Wallace Shawn), survive the Dread Pirate Roberts and escape from the Pit of Despair. A charming, droll love story, The Princess Bride is truly a fairy tale for all ages as well as for the ages. (Ciné & UGA Tate Student Center Theatre)

RIDE ALONG (PG-13) Judging from the trailers, Kevin Hart and Ice Cube’s team up for an action comedy set in Atlanta could be worse. Hart stars as a security guard who goes on patrol with his girlfriend’s tough cop brother, played by Cube, in order to earn his blessing. Tika Sumpter (Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas) stars as the girlfriend/sister. It’s co-written by the super-funny Jason Mantzoukas (The League’s Rafi); granted, he’s one of four credited scripters. Tim Story (Barbershop, Fantastic Four) directs.

ROBOCOP (PG-13) I love Robocop. Paul Verhoeven’s misanthropic, ultraviolent sci-fi satire is one of the genre’s most underrated gems. The long-in-development reboot boasts Elite Squad director Jose Padilha and “The Killing”’s Joel “Holder” Kinnaman; it’s also rated PG-13. A critically injured cop, Alex Murphy (Kinnaman), is rebuilt into a part man, part machine police officer. The supporting cast of Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K. Williams and Samuel L. Jackson is top notch.

THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY (PG) Director-star Ben Stiller’s adaptation of James Thurber’s classic short story is an odd duck. Take Thurber’s simple literary seed and fertilize it with writer Steve Conrad’s brand of The Weather Man/The Pursuit of Happyness pablum. The resulting film pleases on its own and disappoints as a version of Thurber. Daydreamer Walter Mitty (Stiller) works at “Life” Magazine, which is about to go completely digital, and he has lost the negative of the final cover photo, provided by a legendary photog (Sean Penn). Having never done anything, Walter goes on an impromptu adventure to Greenland, Iceland and Afghanistan, mostly to get the attention of a comely coworker (a cute, pleasantly normal Kristen Wiig). Stiller’s humor never quite gels with Conrad’s insipid sincerity. Stiller’s direction shines, though he seems to be channeling a sterile, mass market Wes Anderson. Still, it’s laudable and creative; everything that the script is not. Unnecessarily overplotted and overly coincidental, it glosses over the complexities of Walter’s adventure. It should never have been called The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, but I still felt overtly amiable towards the film when it was over. Though what’s the deal with Adam Scott’s beard?

SUNDANCE FESTIVAL SHORT FILMS This 93-minute collection boasts the eight best shorts that Sundance 2013 had to offer. Short Film Jury Award winners “The Date” (International Fiction), “Whiplash” (U.S. Fiction), “Skinningrove” (Non-Fiction), “Until the Quiet Comes” and “Irish Folk Furniture” (Animation) are joined by “The Event,” “Jonah” and “K.I.T.” Be prepared to laugh and cry as these shorts run the gamut. The four-minute “The Event” about love and a severed foot at the end of the world has me intrigued the most.

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT (R) 2014’s first truly terrible movie goes to That Awkward Moment. Congratulations for barely edging out I, Frankenstein! That is quite an accomplishment for first-time writer-director Tom Gormican, and is almost as impressive as sucking the majority of the charisma out of Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan. Fortunately, Teller overcomes the script’s woeful inadequacies and outright thefts from (not even that much) better romcoms. Out of friendship, three male besties—Jason (a drowsy Zac Efron), Mikey (Jordan) and Daniel (Teller)—swear off relationships before meeting the women of their dreams. Now comes the awkward part where they do dumb things because that’s what guys do, according to movies like this one. Jordan escapes with most of his dignity as the straight man, a cuckolded doctor, and Teller charms viewers’ pants off with the crustiest of romcom dialogue. As the pretty but romantically deficient friend, Efron lacks his cast mates’ magnetism and talent. Imagine a movie that would have starred Kate Hudson, Katherine Heigl and the late Brittany Murphy ten years ago; now give their characters penises. Otherwise, it’s the exact same movie Hollywood’s released every Super Bowl weekend or Valentine’s Day for the past decade.

THOR: THE DARK WORLD (PG-13) Marvel’s sequel to the surprisingly entertaining 2011 hit should have built on its predecessor’s success. Instead, the movie’s generic plot—an evil villain seeks to destroy the universe—and its science fiction aesthetic resemble an even-numbered Star Trek movie (Malekith even looks like a Romulan) more than a Marvel superhero feature. With frequent “Game of Thrones” director Alan Taylor at the helm, the movie’s Asgard could have benefitted from a grittier, Westeros look; instead, Asgard could be any Naboo-like world from the Star Wars prequel. Chris Hemsworth’s Thor remains as easily charming, and one wonders if the series should have allowed him to be single for a bit. Imagine Thor as an unbound lothario. Oddly enough, what seemed like a weakness of the first film—Thor’s unpowered banishment to Earth—is exactly what’s missing from its sequel. How can you tell? When Thor finally arrives on Earth, the quips fly faster and the gags land more soundly. Thor: The Dark World simply becomes more entertaining when the action leaves Asgard. Apparently, nothing about Thor should ever be serious. After all, he’s a god with flowing blond locks and a giant hammer. Oh, and more Loki please.

12 YEARS A SLAVE (R) The very real, very powerful 12 Years a Slave recounts the devastatingly true account of Solomon Northup (Academy Award nominee Chiwetel Ejiofor), a free man kidnapped and sold into slavery. Solomon’s woeful tale occurred to many other free blacks; his is just one of the few that ended happily. This film’s climax is easily the year’s most relieving. Shame director Steve McQueen certainly earned his Academy Award nomination for gracefully bringing this true life horror story to cinematic life. Despite its massively discomfiting subject, 12 Years a Slave is never anything less than compellingly watchable. So filled with tremendous performances from Paul Giamatti, Benedict Cumberbatch, Michael Kenneth Williams, Scoot McNairy, Paul Dano, Sarah Paulson, Alfre Woodard, Garrett Dillahunt and Brad Pitt, 12 Years a Slave is the reason ensemble acting prizes were created. Still, the Academy Award nominated turns from Ejiofor, Michael Fassbender—whose malevolent slave owner might be the new Simon Legree embodiment of slavery’s evil—and Lupita Nyong’o certainly stand out, though the star is, ultimately, this supremely well-constructed film, a work that stands above nearly all its competitors. Of last year’s films, probably only Gravity and Her impressed me more, though only microscopically.

TYLER PERRY’S A MADEA CHRISTMAS (PG-13) The biggest Madea misfire since Meet the Browns, A Madea Christmas gives off the whiff of expired made-for-TV eggnog. Perry’s merrily mischievous matron travels to Alabama with the worst character Perry has yet created, Eileen (Anna Maria Horsford of “Amen”). Eileen’s daughter, Lacey (Tika Sumpter), is hiding her new marriage to Conner (Eric Lively), who is white, and her mother’s interactions with his likable redneck parents, Buddy and Kim (Larry the Cable Guy and Kathy Najimy), are offensively rude. A Madea Christmas is simply an ugly movie that would look weak even against The Hallmark Channel original holiday fare. Perry’s second worst character also resides in this small town, Chad Michael Murray’s Tanner. Unprofessional acting (check out the horrendous accents) and weak writing marked by outdated jokes about the small town South offend and disappoint. Perry has shown to be better than this gag gift of a holiday movie. So few Madea moments land that Larry the Cable Guy is the funniest fellow in the picture. Boy, that’s not a good thing. Have you ever seen a bad, local church’s Christmas play or that awful War on Christmas movie, Last Ounce of Courage? Then you’ve seen A Madea Christmas.

WINTER’S TALE (PG-13) Academy Award-winning screenwriter Akiva Goldsman (sure, he won an Oscar for A Beautiful Mind, but he also wrote the near franchise killing Batman & Robin) makes his directorial debut with this romantic fantasy starring Colin Farrell and Lady Sybil. Burglar Peter Lake (Farrell) falls for dying heiress Beverley Penn (Jessica Brown Findlay, formerly of “Downton Abbey”). Fortunately, Peter is capable of reincarnation, leading him to seek a way to save his love. The trailers are less than promising. With Russell Crowe.

WHO CARES ABOUT KELSEY? Kelsey Carroll failed to receive a single academic credit during her freshman year and was caught dealing drugs. Thanks to Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS) and a planning program called RENEW, she turned it around. Filmmaker Dan Habib’s documentary follows Kelsey through the ups and downs of her senior year. This free screening is sponsored by the UGA School Counseling Program, UGA Office of Service Learning, Rutland Academy, The Cottage/Child Advocacy Center, Nuci's Space and Empowered Youth Programs. (Ciné)

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET (R) Director Martin Scorsese is 71 and has more cinematic vim and vigor than any younger filmmaker to whom you wish to compare him. Just see The Wolf of Wall Street for proof. Leonardo DiCaprio stars as Jordan Belfort, who ruled the Bulls and the Bears before the age of 30. Hopped up on Quaaludes and cocaine, Belfort and his crew at Stratton Oakmont (best represented on screen by Jonah Hill) peddled penny stocks and defrauded investors so badly, he ended up in prison for 22 months. Scorsese captures every debauched moment—hookers, drugs and dwarf tossing—of Belfort’s life. DiCaprio will be an Oscar frontrunner if voters can get beyond the vileness of Belfort enough to celebrate the actor’s most physical performance. At three hours, The Wolf of Wall Street is far from too long, though some individual scenes linger too long. Hill proves his Moneyball turn was no fluke with another career-redefining turn. How awesome is it to see Scorsese churning out still relevant work with a new muse while his old muse, Robert De Niro, is mired in crummy comedies like Grudge Match. This Wolf is one to watch.