Tuna Fortuna Has Your Favorite Beard in Athens Music
Photo Credit: Joshua L. Jones
There are a lot of great beards in Athens music. We’re talking real-deal beards. None of that close-cropped “lumbersexual” nonsense. These are beardy beards. Working-men’s beards. Your-dad-in-those-faded-photos-from-the-’70s beards. Pure, exquisite paragons of beardhood.
To celebrate Athens’ follicular fortitude, and in honor of our Warm Your ATH Up issue—because nothing says “cozy” like a forest of unkempt facial hair—Flagpole chose six of our favorite local-music beards and opened it up to a vote on Homedrone.
The winner, per our highly scientific Facebook-commenting method, was Family and Friends’ hirsute bassist, David “Tuna” Fortuna, who bowled y’all over with his luscious face-locks. Though Amish-bearded singer-songwriter Fester Hagood, who finished second in the voting, enjoyed an impressive late wave of support, Fortuna ended up on top by a mere 13 votes.
Tuna Fortuna:
Flagpole: Seriously, why the beard?
Tuna Fortuna: Truthfully, I don't have a chin.
FP: Does it keep you warm?
TF: Does the Pope shit in the woods?
FP: What's your favorite thing about your beard?
TF: All the free food I find in it.
Fester Hagood:
Flagpole: Seriously, why the beard?
Fester Hagood: It covers the womanly parts of a man's face.
FP: So, like, how long did it take to grow?
FH: I trimmed it about six months ago, but have had face fur for about 15 years now. Way before it was a fashion statement.
FP: Does it keep you warm?
FH: You could cook a Hot Pocket in it.
FP: What's your least favorite thing about your beard?
FH: Being asked if I like Duck Dynasty. That, and when a snake sheds in it.
Luke Fields:
Flagpole: Seriously, why the beard?
Luke Fields: It is a badge that pays tribute to what precious few positive traits I have inherited from my ancestors. I may be blind and susceptible to heart disease, but I have a natural beard growth pattern that just won't quit. Also, shaving is the absolute fucking worst.
FP: So, like, how long did it take to grow?
LF: I’m currently sporting about a five-to-seven-month beard by my standards. This beard has been on my face for about two years, however. It is frequently edited. Maintained. Honed.
FP: What's your least favorite thing about your beard?
LF: "CAN I TOUCH YOUR BEARD?" This is immediately followed by cigarette fingers before I have the chance to say “no.”
FP: What's your favorite beard in Athens music (besides yours)?
LF: I think Patrick Ware doesn't get enough follicular aWAREness (chuckle). Walker Howle has always had a beard to kill, as well. I wonder how far around the globe you could get by laying down each hair from every Athens music beard end-to-end? It would at least be 52 times. GET IT? B-52?
Jim Wilson:
Flagpole: Seriously, why the beard?
Jim Wilson: It is my life-source, a reflection of my inner light. When it looks good, you know I am good.
FP: So, like, how long did it take to grow?
JW: We just celebrated its first birthday.
FP: Does it keep you warm?
JW: I keep it warm.
FP: What's your favorite thing about your beard?
JW: It is like a face on my face, as if I'm even more three-dimensional than I was before.
Matt Hudgins:
Matt Hudgins
Flagpole: Seriously, why the beard?
Matt Hudgins: I’ve always liked beards; my dad retired from the Army in '85 and immediately grew a beard; my favorite teacher in middle school, Mr. Mason, had quite a whopper; and around the same time, I became obsessed with the later career of The Beatles. In high school, having a beard was as good as an adult picture ID in certain situations.
FP: So, like, how long did it take to grow?
MH: I evenly spread the seeds over the surface of my jaw with a finger, then fill my face with water that I change every day. Beard appears in three to five days.
FP: What's your least favorite thing about your beard?
MH: Some people have gotten a little too excited about beards the past few years. I enjoy compliments as much as the next guy, but every once in a while some drunken beard evangelist wants to go over the finer points of our respective beard resumes, like we're joining the sales team together.
FP: What's your favorite beard in Athens music (besides yours)?
MH: Scott Spillane. Hands down.
Steve Hendriksen:
Flagpole: Seriously, why the beard?
Steve Hendriksen: The first time I grew out my beard was to look more like a fake ID I had when I was in college out in Colorado. That was about nine years ago, and I've had it ever since.
FP: Does it keep you warm?
SH: Moreso in the summer than the winter. You have to thin it out a little in those warmer months here in the South. I learned that the hard way!
FP: What's your least favorite thing about your beard?
SH: Eating soup and drinking coffee.
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