Our cover story on Athens aqua-rapper Cartier God has raised a few skeptical eyebrows already, with some folks questioning why we felt the Ocean Gang captain was worthy of the front-and-center spot.

Y'all are crazy. Simply put, dude is doing some weird, crazily cool stuff, for Athens or anywhere. His liquid, uncompromising music veers from a (sorta) club-friendly a$$-bouncing style to a bizarre, outsider-ish, anti-anthemic one. The space in-between is filled with the sort of airy synth-pad textures even the chillest of chillwavers would kill for—and an off-the-wall ad lib or two.

Don't believe me? Check out four of Cartier's most hypnotic tracks (uh, use headphones if you're at work. Unless you work at Flagpole, in which case, I'm blasting these jams so loud, you've got no choice but to listen. Sorry):

Cartier'GOD #SwimWidDaCapt #Basedfreestyle Prod. By #Futuristic'Ideasz by Cartier'God

Featuring lyrics like: "First I dive in / Then I make a splash / Michael Phelps swimmin' so you know I'm blowin' that gas"

Cartier'GOD- #OhYeah [Her Voice.MyVoice] by Cartier'God

That psychedelic backing track, the clipped sex sounds, the strange repeated "oh yeah"— the slowest slow jam you've ever heard sounds like dubstep in comparison.

JonnyBravo x SwagJesus x Cartier'GOD - #Cookin'&Cleanin' by Cartier'God

"Bitches on my hamstrings / Swag like Janet Jackson"—This song is most definitely not about cooking or cleaning in the literal sense. Definitely NSFW.

Cartier'GOD- #iWannaSeaUShakeIt #OceanGANG by Cartier'God

In which the Captain flirts with a skittery, lite-club banger and succeeds marvelously in still making it totally bizarre. Can you imagine the striptease that would accompany this song? Beautiful and terrifying.

Hear more from Cartier God at Soundcloud.